you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
Nothing like having your house arrest ankle bracelet vibrate and take a moisture sample at the exact moment you're about to blow it in some chick...buzzkill
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
You know you've hit a new slutty low when you're simultaneously sexting and having a tea party with a 4 year old
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
Randomize