my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
Randomize
