Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
I was just told that i'm a premature cuddler. . . What does that even mean?
Whatever it is you failed
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
Sometimes I get in situations where I realize they think I'm smarter than I am and then it's just one more thing I have to fake.
I'm about to be a big disappointment.
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
Randomize
