Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
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