I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
I just stole a bunch of balloons from a birthday party and am giving one to each person at the bar.
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
Hey. Did I get punched in the face last night?
Yeah. I told you I would and you didn't believe me.
Randomize
