SEEEEXXX PLEASE
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
Leaving my wallet at work and not going out to drink tonight...SIGN FROM THE UNIVERSE.
Apparently last night I yelled "the cops were called on a mother fucker and that mother fucker is me." And then proceeded to exorcise a sandwitch.
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
Sex in the backyard? Check.
I dont know who to turn my two weeks notice into so I'm just going to get hammered at work and see who fires me.
Randomize
