it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
My stomach is making the worst sounds, probably because there is nothing but semen in it.
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
afterward, he apologized, hugged me, and then gave me a granola bar and said “this is my apology gift.”
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
idk how I feel so profoundly understood by someone whose latest tweet is "labia majora's mask." but I do.
Swiping left on your brother's Tinder account is possibly the worst way to learn he broke up with his girlfriend.
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
I woke up at 2 AM to find them in my living room with a radio flyer wagon full of milk glass plates and a Holstein cow. How am I going to explain this to my landlord!?!
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
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