tequila makes my crab dance SOOOO much better
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
god is playing jersey shore on new years on purpose. he wants me to play drinking games and die. i wish he knew how serious this is.
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
She's locked herself in the bathroom with a tub of icecream and she's watching my little pony on her phone. We know it cause she sings with them.
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
It came up in court that I told the arresting officer my name was Thomas Jefferson, and I was born in 1776. I almost kept a straight face. Almost.
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
Randomize
