She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
I took the beard trimmer to my balls this morning.\nMuch blood. Much blood from my scrotum.
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
Randomize
