So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
you set the microwave for an hour telling me that the done sound was your alarm.
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
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