Note to Self: No matter how horny, turned on or in the moment you are, never go down on your gf after she had soccer practice.
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
Randomize
