"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
i just sent my parents are gone come over I have condoms to my mom because Derek changed my numbers while I was passed out
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
He left his own bachelor party to bring me weed. Then smoked with me. Tell me I'm not his favorite-ex-friends-with-benefits.
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
so, i guess i gotta chill on showing up to work hungover... someone anonymously left a bible in my work mailbox (no one else got one)
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
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