ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
She sleeps with her hand around my balls. First I thought it was just a comfort thing. Now I think it's to make sure I can't slip away in the middle of the night.
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
I just jerked off in front of my dog to make him jealous of my thumbs. There are consequences for stealing the last cheeto!
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
Randomize
