Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
Whoever had sex in my bed during the party last night left a glow in the dark condom on my floor. I'm not even mad anymore, I just want to know who it is so they can tell me where to get one.
My dad just called from upstairs on the house phone to tell me to bring him a beer. You tell me how I am.
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
Randomize
