Food network will be on but we won't be watching
O by "watching" I mean "background noise"
Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
I just tipped the cab driver with pistachio nuts. And he loved it.
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
Just high enough for therapy.
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
Randomize
