i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
I'm so hungover And my mouth is so dry it feels like my tongue is wearing a sweater
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
I should probably just LinkedIn request everyone I've ever slept with so they stop popping up on my suggested connections list
The cat's telling me to stop taking acid, and to start doing the lords work. I'm almost 99% sure he's talking about the dark lord.
THIS CAT'S GOING TO TURN INTO A SNAKE AND KILL ME! GET OVER HERE NOW! BRING YOUR WAND.
Randomize
