I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
I recommend you throw your keys as far as you can in one direction, your phone as far as you can in the opposite direction, and hold on.
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize