are you still at the devil's house?
I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
Fair warning, if I start singing "Kiss Me, I'm Shitfaced" at any point tomorrow, just go with it
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
Carson when you get home I want you to go downstairs and go into each bedroom and pick up the underwear and either throw it out or give it back to the people who own them. Look all over the room. Thank, Love Mom
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
Randomize
