He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
Randomize
