new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
How did you not realize the handbrakes were stuck?
I thought I was just out of shape.
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
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