Wow so 15 missed calls, a vm AND a text saying come downstairs? ...And where is downstairs? Explain.
Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
mike is out of commission and cannot make breakfast. he's sitting with two frozen waffles on his face & smiling like an idiot.
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
Randomize
