I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
Ask if he wants his tooth back. It's in the freezer. In the box of hotpockets.
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
I got the job! The hiring manager is the sister of a guy I slept with so its like I'm a real adult now
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
Randomize
