If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
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