my mom just served us mashed potatoes with an ice cream scoop. When I asked her why, she said she thought it would make dinner 'more fancy'...
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
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