In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
I was preparing to do my walk of shame shirtless, but then I found my sweater, wallet and keys neatly piled under a tree in the park.
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
Randomize
