Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
I'm 99% sure I high fived a girl over mashed potatoes last night
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
I just saw the Mona Lisa in the background of a porno. Whole new appreciation for art. fuck you I'm cultured.
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
Randomize
