office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
You stressed the importance of not breaking the seal too early... and then proceeded to piss your pants when you sneezed.
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
I'm pretty sure I just had a convo with my hot pockets about how they weren't good enough for the oven.
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
I just elbowed a roll of wrapping paper, and said “ohh sorry”. I’m still drunk.
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
Randomize
