dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
I caught myself masturbating while watching a baseball game today. It was over before I realized what was going on. And then I was just confused.
can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
Eye surgery went well. Just can't believe it took getting lasers through my eyes to temporarily stop the vivid sex dreams I was having
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
Randomize
