either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
Randomize
