i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
I checked into jail on foursquare
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
In the past year, I've fucked 3 Dave's and you've fucked 2 Dave's. That's a lot of Dave's in our vaginas.
We need to start a soap opera called the Dave's of Our Lives.
Randomize
