...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
shit is crazy. i just keep thinking that this kid growing inside Emily used to live in my balls.
Sometimes he's such a bitch I forget that he's not actually a girl. Last night I asked him if I could borrow a tampon.
He had some in his pocket. That was weird.
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
Actually going to jail after your wedding is NOT part of the plan.
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
She has the best kind of daddy issues
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
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