My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
You should be grateful to be my roommate. My booty calls always drive you places in the morning.
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
When I blacked in, I was crying to my father at the swim-up bar that "I was going to win an Oscar." how do you THINK Mexico was?
I forgot that I thought it would be a good idea to hairspray my toilet seat last night after I took 12 shots of vodka so when I just went to pee, I stuck to the toilet. Never drinking again.
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
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