im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
My doctor just informed me that my food allergies qualify me for a medical marijuana license. I get it on Tuesday. It won't help at all, but my life is awesome!
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
bouncer thought i was tryin to get the license plate numbers of strippers to stalk them. I had to go show him where I threw up to get back in.
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
Randomize
