come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
I just remembered Dan asking me all polite in the middle of sex "do you mind if I get behind you?" that was the most polite way I've been asked to do it doggy style
She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
he answered his phone during sex and left to go help that drama queen with her latest bullshit. I'm drinking all his vodka. it's asshole tax
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
Fuck twitter. Fuck men. Fuck bras. Fuck flip flops. Fuck makeup. Fuck perfume.
We've been together for 10 months. These next 2 may be a deal breaker. He has not met the summertime version of me that is so hungover today that I cancelled a meeting with my boss right after she sent me an appreciation note saying I have great work ethic. I have her fooled.
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