I think scott just propositioned me for sex
Are you kidding me. My sex life has diminshed to having wet dreams about jerking off.
i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
WHY DOES HE HAVE TO CALL WHEN I'M MASTURBATING?! This time I'm really pissed. It's like he knows he's depriving me of orgasms.
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
Strip clubs it is bday boy. One condition. I am in full custody of your ID. I plan on being in no condition to coordinate rescue operations and we need to keep casualties to a minimum. You cannot be trusted.
Alright goddamnit. Can I bring my pirate hat?
I insist.
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time...
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
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