let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
sick fucks of a feather flock together
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
I don't know if your celebrity crush has ever asked you for nudes, but it's fucking awesome
I'll admit it. It was a bad idea to sneak a fart out while she was taking a nap. Can you bring me a pair of underwear from my dresser. Preferably the one with the walruses in party hats one.
My parents are paying for my knee surgery for my birthday. What costume will look good on crutches for my Halloween Birthday?
Welcome to adulthood.
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
I’m home. Please don’t call me unless you have an arterial bleed or you’re on fire. Love you 😘
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