I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
I didn't know it was possible to throw up mid-sneeze.
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
Randomize
