A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
Randomize
