OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
My life is like a Sweet Valley High book but with lots of alcohol.
I googled "I hate my uterus" just to make sure I wasn't the only one.
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
I added our drug dealer to the quickbooks software babe, he is listed under vendor's as an expense category... money management is such a bitch...
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