Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
The fool I made of myself at the Ugly Christmas Sweater party last night was surpassed this morning when I walk of shamed 6 miles at 7am with one mysterious wet leg and no pants on. I think my mom saw me and waved.
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
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