i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
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