Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
This week I fucked a police officer and called both the Senators from the state I'm in and the one I'm moving to. What have you done since the election?
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
Randomize
