I think im going to throw up on grandma
your ex dropped by. you can call me dwight howard, cuz im the king of rebounds
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
you left him a drunk voicemail of you singing speechless by lady gaga balling your eyes out
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
Randomize
