So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
I hear fucking Christmas music. I'm going to find fucking Santa and tell him to suck a dick and shut up for the next month
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
Is texting an old booty call with "can you still get your ankles behind your ears?" an appropriate way to reemerge into the singles scene???
I got drunk off three vodka cranberry’s and told him to “WWE raw dog me.” Fucking kill me.
Randomize
