When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
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