she is the kim kardashian of front butts
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
Enjoy the penises
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
Randomize
