So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
"it" just moved
At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
Went to an open-bar law school party and puked in front of Justice Scalia. My legal career is now complete -- I literally got judged by a U.S. Supreme Court Justice. Can't get any higher than that.
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
Sexting gets boring after a while. I'm eating a sandwich right now and googling 'sexting ideas' and just copy/pasting lines.
It's a good sandwich though.
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
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