Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
Just chased ups truck with a half wiped ass for you. You're making dinner tonight
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
The girl in line in front of me at the grocery store is buying wine, m&m minis, a toothbrush, and condoms. Is it inappropriate to high-five her?
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
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