You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
Last night I apparently send my boss a picutre of my boobs. On the bonus part I got a raise today. So I just want to thank your parents for naming you Jeff cuz if I was not so hammered last night I would have sent it to the right one.
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
i woke up with my wallet keys and phone missing and a treasure map to find them stapled to my shirt.
haha i know
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
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