I woke up this morning and I couldn't find my coffeetable. wtf?
Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
Yeah bunch of crazy shit... Makes you wonder how anyone found someone before tinder
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
Dude. That's like masturbating until the point that you're going to climax, then stopping, waiting for a few seconds and then starting all over. While that does lead to an altogether more powerful orgasm, it's still annoying as hell until you get there.
I was not expecting that analogy.
No one ever expects that analogy.
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
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