When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
Things I love twice as much when drunk: Taco Bell. Office chairs that roll. Classes.
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
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