was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
imagine playing with puppies while we're drunk.
Like... we could film it and put like, "do you believe in magic" as the backround song and it would be complete joy.
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
Some guy wearing a horse mask just knocked on my door and started whinnying. I opened the door and he was like, "...oh sorry, wrong room..." so awk.
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
I found all these half eaten mandarin orange on the ground and the bruises on my neck are definetely not hickies
This dudes playing guitar and singing outside our window and he's like "ravioli is beterrrrrrr than tortelliniIii cause tortelliniiii is shaped like fucking ears"
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
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