She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
Found my shoes and purse. They're all strapped together in my neighbor's tree. Need to borrow your ladder. Thanks in advance
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
I want Samuel L. Jackson to stand beside me and narrate my morning shits.
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
Fuck off. Since when do you love him??
Since he licked my arm to retrieve the macaroni and cheese he dropped. You have to appreciate that
Can't even lie. Mad respect
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
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